Gaining A Year

It was my birthday this past Sunday, and I have obviously since gained another year.  As per usual, this annual festivus is cause for some introspection, some reflection, and some cake.  Having consumed the cake, humor me as I dispense with some conclusion born of said introspection and reflection.

Approaching the big day, a very good friend did as all good friends should do and gave me a hard time in regards to my impending aging (apparently it all happens at once).  He asked when I would start lying about my age?  I thought for the briefest of seconds (I find that's how I do my best work) and remarked that I never lie about my age, nor would I ever.  You see, when I was 15, I was diagnosed with a very serious medical condition called autoimmune hepatitis.  Which is, as anyone with a medical degree could easily discern from the title alone, a disease in which my immune system attacks my own body (autoimmunity), in this case my liver (hepat) and causes it to inflame (itis).  After being ill for four and a half months, and receiving a diagnosis after a fair amount of jaundice and blood-letting at the very chilly hands of various phlebotomists, I was put on medication that suppressed my immune system and saved my life - medication that I am still on to this day.  Rest assured, my intention isn't to get all droopy here, or depressive, or melodramatic, or even a hybrid combination of the three . . . droopresslodramatic.  It's too point out a simple and long held belief of mine: age is a privilege denied to so many.

I will never lie about my age for the simple fact that if it weren't for my medication and the advances of science, I wouldn't be here right now.  I'm proud of how old I am.  I'm proud of the life I've lived.  I'm proud of how much living I've been blessed to be able to cram into these 37 years.  Furthermore, I resolve to pack as much living (or more) into my next 37.  After all, life is for the living isn't it?  It's this saying I think of when I read the more . . . shall we say dramatic . . . statuses on Facebook (or is that stati?).  It's a common theme for me, I realize, but when it comes down to it I think people should focus on the good fortune that surrounds them when they tearfully lament the burning of toast, or the dropping of glass, or the whatever of whatever that makes them scrawl FML.  Honestly?  To say f--- one's life over something so trivial?  I get it - it's hyperbole, but still - I think perspective is in short supply these days.

People will often ask online how I stay upbeat.  Well, I'll tell you - it's this.  It's everything I just wrote.  I stay upbeat because I remember how lucky I am.  Not just with family or career, in which I am incredible fortunate to be sure, but because I am here.  Because I am here to spend time with my family, because I am here to have a career.  My favorite thing to say when anyone seems frazzled, angry, overwhelmed, over-dramatic, or overtaxed is: "You are not in the Darfur, and you are not currently on fire.  Almost everything else we can deal with".  I realize it's an oversimplification, but the point is there.  I wrote in an earlier post that most of what we get so wrapped up in is make believe anyway, so try not to lose yourself in it.  This isn't to say I'm not guilty of getting wrapped up in the pseudo-importance of a moment either, but I try to regain focus by thinking about how lucky I really am.  There are people in this world who are literally eating dirt.  My life is just fine.  Help the people with the dirt.

As I've also written on here before, because of my medical condition, I have come to value and prize life over everything.  Not just the life itself mind you, but also the quality of that life.  No matter what you believe spiritually, we can all agree on this - you get one life.  One tangible, seeable, proveable life (not all of those words are real).  On that count we are all of us alike.  Having said that to take someone's life, or quality of life over a belief is about the the worst thing one can do.  Right now there are a lot of young men and women taking their own lives over other people's beliefs and the bullying that comes along with it.  Telling someone that they aren't natural or right because they don't live up to your idea of what is "right" or other is more than offensive, it's tantamount to bigotry.  Unfortunately it is also becoming State sanctioned bigotry when the lawmakers hide behind the veil of Propositions and ballots.  A government's job is to administer the workings of the country and serve and protect its citizens - apparently sometimes from other citizens.  I met a young man in Tampa this year who approached me for an autograph.  He wore a shirt that read, "Not Gay, But Supportive".  He couldn't have been more that 12.  I marveled at this young man and then wrote in his program, "The World needs more kids like you" before signing it.  Indeed we do.

Well, that's it.  Another terribly earnest blog post.  It started with birthday cake and sunshine and became political.  I am beginning to think that I can't actually write anything mirthful!  In the end it boils down to this: live your life to the fullest and let others do the same - heck, try to help others live theirs if you get the chance!  I certainly appreciated all of the birthday wishes from all my friends - Facebook and IRL!  So next time you get down about gaining another year on Father Time, remember what I wrote here and look at how lucky you really are.

The Show on richardiancox.com and the Changes To Come . . . Maybe.

Honest to goodness!  I keep promising to keep up with this blog and well . . . I don't.  Don't get me wrong, I love this blog.  It's my voice to the outside.  In many ways, it's my real voice.  It's that guy beyond the humor and the (alleged) witty (or is that witless) status updates on Facebook and Twitter.  It's the guy who's up for a fight to defend what he thinks is important and criticize what he thinks isn't.

On Facebook it's a funny old thing - you want the people who follow, or rather friend, you to like you.  Perhaps more accurately you want them to like the product that is you.  Let's be honest - I don't really have 1225 friends - I have 1225 "friends".  I like them, hopefully they like me, but I don't know them, and they don't know me.  I have long been contemplating setting up a "Like" page and asking people to gravitate in that direction so that I can somewhat reclaim my Facebook page as my personal space, but I worry that such a request will smack of ego.  The truth is that there isn't much that's personal about my current page.  The people I talk to on a daily or weekly or monthly basis - you know, the friends I actually know - don't post on my wall or comment because they'll wind up with 50 emails (to be fair 49 of them are mine)!  Again, don't take this the wrong way - I love that people out there care enough about me without having met me to want to take a personal interest in my life, but it is a surreal thing to have folks posting on my wall and then chatting amongst themselves as though it's a public page.  Of course, I did bring this on myself - I did open myself up, and many people frankly don't know that this is a personal page.  The tricky bit is that I do want to share personal elements on my page with friends and family, but I don't want to open up any more to folks I don't really know - you know? :)

This blog lets me say what I really think about the world without a flame war ensuing, because somehow commenting on this seems to take more time and the format somehow asks for an opinion rather than a snippy remark quickly jotted down.  A blog is something to seek out and not just an item in a never ending news-feed to "Like" or ignore.  As a result, I have been yearning to use my voice more (my inside voice rather than my literal one).  I do post the occasional link to things I believe in or can't believe.  I suppose I do this because I think people should see what's outside their window and also because I like healthy debate.  Of course, there isn't really much that's healthy about debate on Facebook is there?  I honestly couldn't tell you why.  Perhaps because it seems so quick.  As we scroll down the news-feed, it all flies by and maybe we forget the verbal middle finger we just extended as quickly as we forget it in the car from which we flip birds of varying degrees.

I'm a feisty, scrappy little guy, and I like to tell it how I think it is.  Frankly I think it's been driving me crazy to suppress my opinions for the sake of being palatable to all.  I certainly don't think I am the alpha and the omega of opinions, and am fully aware that mine is no more valid than those on either side of me (unless they're wrong).  Yet sometimes I need to stand on that soapbox and point out what I think is hypocrisy, yadda yadda yadda . . .

So all this drivel brings me to The Show on richardiancox.com - that brilliant sophomoric podcast brought to you semi-weekly, monthly, or is that annually by the brain trust that is myself and Sharon Alexander.  I feel that The Show should have a little more spice in the veins of Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, and Kermit the Frog.  I don't always want to play nice.  I mean I am nice, but I want to stir things up a bit.  Besides, good comedy so rarely comes from "nice" don't you think?  I don't want to alienate anyone, and I hope that everyone comes along for the ride, even if just to risk opening your eyes to another world without actually going over.

I don't know when or if these changes will take place, just taking that first step of putting it out there.  I think that generally the loudest among us get the most attention.  I don't want to be loud, but sometimes I want to push back at those who are getting too loud.  There seems to be more and more hate out there these days.  It's on our news channels, on our social networks, it's out of the mouths of the ignorant.  I would like to do more to point out that ugliness and invite people to hold a mirror to it.  Maybe The Show can be my little way to disarm this nastiness by making fun of it.  If you feel like it, have a listen and laugh along.

The More Separate We Are

Well, this is certainly the longest break I've taken yet between posts. I really do want to be more up to date with these things, and I certainly want to be less "heavy" with everything I write . . . but maybe not this time. To be fair, I don't think this is going to be quite as serious as the last entry - at least I'm not going to threaten any unseen force in this post.

I was musing earlier today about the state of my industry and more specifically the state of my career within that industry. The economy has obviously been a bit flat in the last year and a bit, and my industry has been no different. Looking forward, one can't help but look back. And so it was to the early days of my career toward which I cast my gaze, the heady days of being a very minor television celebrity back when cable meant a handful of people were watching, not the millions who watch their thousands of designer channels today. I often think about a very vivid memory that I have of one particular and rare day on set when I didn't have much to do and was therefore blessed with a day spent mostly watching others work. We were filming at a thoroughbred farm outside of Vancouver. It was beautiful warm day late in the summer and I was leaning against a fence watching the crew setting up a shot on the other side of the training track. From that vantage point I was struck by the notion that we were all a bunch of grown-ups being paid to play make-believe. Grown men and women (and me) rushed about lugging equipment here and there, setting up in arbitrary places to shoot random people saying made-up words so that other people could watch our enactment of a pretend situation written by someone else they didn't know. Millions and millions of dollars are spent on this form of entertainment when really folks could just get together and make-up stuff for themselves. It's cheaper and it gets you out of the house.

I think a lot about that tiny little revelation. Someone paid us to play make-believe. There's no real rhyme or reason to it outside of the focus groups and the pitches. Once you're on set, the director points to where he or she wants people to play make-believe, and then the director of photography points lights at the place, and then they film us pretending. No hard and fast rules (well there are, but I won't get into that). Funny old thing. I know I'm not the first one to have this thought - heck, that's why everyone thinks it's so easy to do (it's not, but I won't get into that either). I would, however, caution everyone to not get too smug about my revelation - you know, about actors being just a bunch of people who get paid to make believe . . . The reality is, that we're all paid to make believe when we get right down to it.

You see in the old days, we as humans spent pretty much all of our time just focusing on staying alive. I'm not just talking about caveman days either. During our hunter/gatherer days, we spent an awful lot of time hunting, and . . . gathering. Then once we developed into an agrarian society, we still spent most of our time tending our animals, tending our crops, you know - agrarying (not a real word). We didn't have time for much else. As time crept forward however, we realized that we could divide our labor, and the first specialists arrived, followed closely by the first referrals. With this division of labor, we could focus more on one job and make more time for our families and golf. With this division also came the barter system. If you give me some of your grain, I'll give you one of my cows . . . this one here, low miles, only tipped by a little old granny on Sundays. Eventually of course, the barter system developed some snags - what if the guy you're trying to buy that car from doesn't want a cow, low miles or not? Welcome the currency based system! I'll give you X amount of this unit of currency with an agreed upon amount guaranteed non-negotiable by the ruling government, and you throw in the floor mats. Brilliant right?

Of course, now that we had all this free time because someone else was going to provide you with your food at a cost, and that other person was going to build your shelter at a cost, you'd better fill it - probably by doing something to generate currency so you could have these things. But what should you do? You have nothing that these other guys want. They already have the means to provide food and build shelter. What could you possibly offer them? I know! Ringtones! And so it was that ringtones were invented.

Outside of the truly important things like food, and shelter, and health services, all else is really secondary - but you try telling that to my accountant. As time has progressed, so has our need to not only earn money, but to fill our time. If we no longer spend all of this time finding food and making shelter, and protecting ourselves from things with really big teeth, we discover that life is really long (if we're lucky) and that we have to fill it. All the better if those things make us feel important. Most of it though is arbitrary stuff. We speak languages that have evolved over time from grunts to grunts that represent a verbalization indicating a thing, to specific words to denote variations of things to poetic words that bring us to tears. We've developed letters and a written language to record our history. We've developed mathematics, and cultures, and industry, and huge scale economies, but nothing can really separate us from the fact that the basics remain the most important - food, shelter, health. All of these great advances could have evolved differently or not existed at all and we would still be here as long as we had food, shelter, and health.

We all spend a lot of time convincing ourselves that what we do everyday is so important and integral to the survival of the human race - if the Henderson report doesn't get filed, the world is going to END! We also convince ourselves that the way we live is so important that we go to war over it. So when my accountant is adding arbitrary notational symbols to determine how much of a certain value of a currency I need to pay to an arbitrary governmental system occupying a random geographical region I will try to see her in the same light as I saw that crew years ago - as a grown-up playing make believe, albeit a very real make believe that stresses me out every April.

We as humans have very much created ourselves as a species in so many ways and have created the confines we live in when all we're really doing is occupying ourselves as we take this journey. In creating ourselves we have also separated ourselves not only from our former ancient selves, but also from each other. We are so specialized, so separate from each other that we have lost the ability to really provide for ourselves at a base level. I remember having another revelation (I'm full of them) as a young man. At 2 in the morning, I distinctly remember sitting in my bedroom in my parent's house and realizing that I didn't know how a single thing in that room worked - I mean I knew the concept behind everything, but if I suddenly found myself in the past I wouldn't be making a fortune by "inventing" it. It got to the point where I understood that there was a graphite shaft surrounded by wood making up my pencil, but I was damned if I could tell you how they put it there.

Max Weber talked about the idea of the iron cage - the idea that our divisions of labor forced us into these cages separate from those around us despite giving us the impression we were free. The current economic crunch has illustrated this perfectly. People becoming homeless, physically losing their shelter because that very specific task that they perform has been reduced. That very specific task that fed their family, put a roof over their head, and provided health, was and is for most of us an arbitrary task of our own creation that is in effect make believe despite our need for it. I think this point is apropos in light of the health care debate in the States right now. Does one really want to hinge a health care plan on the arbitrary task that we carry out to generate income if the past has proven to us how untenable that task might be?

We're only ever as strong as that weakest link, and in a society of specialists, that link might be our separation from each other and our needs, not our wants. The truth is, we're all (well most of us) playing make believe, and that's okay. It's only when we let the make believe become our only reality that we find ourselves on shaky ground. The idea that our make believe is the only make believe can do very bad things to good people. We must also remember that but for a slightly different evolution in our cultures we may be totally different people who are pretty much the exact same people we are anyway - you know what I mean?

Why Gay Rights Matter To You

Well, here we are again - it's been another three months and I'm finally sitting down to write another blog entry. Every time, I promise myself that I'm not going to leave such a big gap between posts but then life gets in the way, and . . . voila, there I am - not writing! I can't imagine anybody is racing to their computer each day to see if I've posted something scintillating, but I do enjoy hearing from the few people who pass by and take the time to leave comments. So once again, three months on and I promise to endeavour to write more routinely. Perhaps after this post I won't have the thoughts and passions that thinking about writing this essay has weighed on me the past months, and I'll be more apt to write trivial, less thought provoking and more fun topics.

As I said, I have been thinking about writing this post for a long while now, but have found myself too angry to write in my clear head about it. In fact, I can tell you right now that this will certainly not be my most eloquent entry, but I feel the need to post nonetheless. The reason for my anger is the vitriol and invective spewed as of late, in the States in particular, on the subject of Gay Rights. I am by no means an expert on this subject, but it means so much to me because I have many gay friends, as well as a few people I am honored to call friends within the transgendered community. A woman who was very influential in my young life as an actor and whom I often refer to as my second mother is in a very long term same-sex relationship. So to are many of the wonderful people who shaped what kind of actor, and by extension, what kind of person I am, growing up in the theatre. These people are very important to me and I love them all, and let me be very clear to anyone who would do them harm for the way they live their lives: you hurt the people I love, and I will hurt you!

I am straight, not that that matters, but I mention it for one reason: as a counterpoint to the idiotic voices who bleat on that gay people teaching our children or raising their own will somehow turn them gay. I started acting when I was nine years old, which means I have been taught by people who live their lives as gay men and women since I was nine. I'm now 35. This means that after 24 years of close relationships with these wonderful folks I'm still the same person I was born to be. I am married and have two children. My wife and I would like more. My children have been around my gay friends and my wife's gay friends since they were born, the same way they're around our straight friends, and you know what? They question of everyone's sexuality hasn't come up! Because it doesn't, does it? In your day to day life, unless you're ridiculously crass, your sexual life doesn't enter into how you do your job, it doesn't affect how you order coffee, it doesn't make a difference to how you breathe. You are a human being. We all are.

I truly, TRULY, believe that love is such a hard enough commodity to come by in this world that no-one should have the right to tell you who to love. Gay or straight, two grown, consenting people should be able to love whomever their heart and soul tells them to love. People who have committed to spending their lives together - their one life on this Earth - should be able to hold one another's hand when they pass. They should be able to decide who their benefits go to, who their common children are raised by. Two grown, consenting people should be treated like Adults. The irrational fear of so many is so childish that it honestly boggles my mind. I just don't get it. Pure and simple. I mean, I simply don't see how it affects anyone outside of the relationship. I understand that there is a religious component to this hateful stance, but I've got to tell you - I grew up going to church. I don't buy this argument. I've said it before and I will say it again: homosexuality is mentioned only twice in this allegorical tome. Thou shalt not kill / steal / lie / covet etc. are COMMANDMENTS and no-one is protesting lying, or mounting propositions in California to ban coveting!

Okay, so I promised to tell you why Gay Rights matter to you, and I'll tell you. These rights should matter to you simply because they are rights, human rights. Why should anyone have to march to ask people to stop hurting them? Why should people have to fight governments to be allowed to file a common tax return? Why should people have to fight for respect and freedom in this day and age, and in a country as great as the US? I will say right now that the USA is better than hate, it's better than narrow-mindedness, and it's better than Proposition 8. I cannot imagine being barred from having my wife at my side when I slip into the great beyond, or Heaven forbid - vice-versa. My wife is my life, and one of the best days of my life was becoming her husband. Why anyone would want to stand in the way of that happiness for others in a marriage that has literally zero impact on their lives escapes me. In a society where marriage numbers are dropping, I find it beautiful and reassuring that so many are willing to fight so hard to enter into the bonds of something that gives me so much strength. Far from undermining traditional marriage, I think gay marriage strengthens a time honored institution because it speaks to humans' quest for meaning and love in a world that feels so devoid of it.

As to the human rights component I ask: perhaps it's gay marriage and gay rights today, but what if it's something that affects you tomorrow? What if the pendulum continues to swing and States start introducing Propositions banning cigarettes? Probably a good thing, they cause irreparable harm and cost the tax payer millions. What about banning alcohol? Fine, I don't drink so it doesn't affect me. How about a Proposition requiring people to submit to DNA sampling? Curfews? Modest dress? It is about your rights as a human being living out your one life in a country overflowing with wealth and freedom. I go on a lot about the idea of only having one life to live and the fear of wasting it because of my own experiences, but the concept is a solid one: you have one opportunity to live to the fullest, and any missed chances stay that way, missed. There is a great line in an Anglican creed that reads: "I confess that I have sinned by what I have done, and by what I have left undone." We all deserve the chance to not miss any chances. By that same token, to stand by and do nothing as others suffer is as great a sin as inflicting the suffering itself. I see my friends suffer. Not just because they are being denied something as basic as marriage, or because of the efforts expended fighting injustice, but because they are being told daily that they aren't equal to the man or woman standing beside them. They have been told this all their lives, and not only by random, hateful people holding up signs, but sometimes by their own families and former friends. It is embarrassing as a society to see this in the mirror we hold up to it.

I don't live my life as a gay man, but I can't imagine that's it's any different that the one I live with my wife, but as such I can't speak to the intricacies with any authority. I can only write this as an interested and concerned outsider. However I can certainly hold forth on the issues of rights, and I have. I feel that you're born the way you're meant to be born. What gets you going in the bedroom doesn't define you outside of it. I'm happy to see that the people who have been fighting for so long have so much more support today, and I believe that hate and narrow-mindedness are dying out with each successive generation. Eventually we'll get to a place where we look back and are shocked by how long it took for equality to be truly bestowed on this group of people, the same way we are to look back on the Suffragette movement and the Civil Rights movement.

As I said, I have two young children and am hoping for more. I can tell you that if any of my babies tell me some day that they are gay, I will take them in my arms, hug them as tightly as I can, and tell them how proud of them I am that they want to live their life as the are made. And if anyone hurts my little ones for that, I will hurt those people back.

Let's Talk Religion!

I believe last time I posted I made some comment about trying not to leave it so long between posts. Well, here it is folks, only three months later. I really do intend on writing more frequently, it's just that family and life happily get in the way! I also have the feeling that if I'm going to leave it for so long, the anticipation among my dozens of regular accidental readers must be so overwhelming that I want to give them something worth waiting for. I can't promise that this will have been worth the wait, only that there was indeed a wait.

As you can see by the title of this entry, I've decided to take on a less than frequently discussed and rarely debated topic: Religion. It's a subject I enjoy learning about, and one I love to debate. I'm not going to discuss my own beliefs too much, but rather the concept of religion and what it has come to mean in our Western world, as well as its presently politicized nature.

Let me begin by saying that I was raised going to church nearly every weekend, where my parents attended services while my sister and I went to Sunday school. My mother was fairly active in the church and a good deal of their social life revolved around friends they met in church. We attended the United Church of Canada, although this was a church my parents settled on after emigrating with a baby version of me from the UK. Back in Britain my mother was raised as a Methodist (as most Welsh are) and my father attended the C of E (Anglican) services through his school. I think the main reason my parents decided on the United Church when they came to Canada was because of what was widely viewed as its relaxed and casual nature. Growing up, I didn't learn the fire and brimstone stories of the Bible, but rather a theology more based on the peace, love, and happiness angle which certainly suited me fine. Eventually my parents stopped going to church after becoming disillusioned with the internal politics of the church they were attending at the time. By then my sister and I were pretty much grown and we factored less in their decision making process than when we were young and they saw the church and its moral component as a good foundation to complement the standards they were imbuing us with. Not getting up early on Sundays appealed to me then and I no longer continued the weekly pilgrimage either. As I got older however, I found myself drawn to the church of my father's youth and started attending Anglican services sporadically and found a place that was a natural fit - a mix between the Masses I went to in Catholic school, and the Protestantism I grew up with. I give you this brief background of my own religious experience to allow you to better understand the position I am about to expound on, as obvious or obtuse as they may seem.

I think the biggest thing that annoys me today about religion and what it has come to be and stand for in our world is the smugness with which people hold their views and beliefs. I dislike smugness from every side of the religious spectrum, and for that matter any social debate. In the popular media of North America today, and particularly among my own friends, the two main sides of the religious argument seem to be coming from Evangelicals and Atheists. Both groups offer their own ideas of what life should be based on their moral conviction and belief systems, or lack thereof. Both groups are populated with nice normal people, good people, honest people who love their kids and all things good and pure. Unfortunately either group seems to have vitriolic and self appointed mouthpieces speaking for the larger whole. More often than not, these "true believers" seem to be more interested in telling others how stupid everyone else is for not believing what they believe instead of quietly focusing on their own spiritual soul. It's this smugness, this "I've got this all figured out" attitude that bugs me so much. I'm not saying that you can't have a confidence in what you believe, but please, please don't position yourself as moral arbiter of the Universe because you heard a really great quote from your celebrity of choice that leads you to believe you have a fool proof argument for your stance.

On the pro religion side of things, the smugness most apparent to me comes from those people who lead by word and not deed. Those people who are quick to tell you what God wants, or better yet, what God means by the words in the Good Book. People who purport to follow the absolute word of God and are adamant about not "picking and choosing" what to believe but are completely unconcerned about the things they themselves pick and choose to follow and believe. The favorite target of many of the faithful today is homosexuality. They claim that it is written that it is evil and abhorrent. There are only two passages in the Bible that concern homosexuality, and yet "thou shalt not bear false witness" is a freaking commandment. How honestly can you say that you never lie? By the way, the Bible also says you can't cut the hair at the sides of your head or eat shellfish. Talk about smorgasbord! Another favorite commandment of mine is "thou shalt not kill". Of course it's hard to wage war with that one looming over your head, so in years past it has been reviewed and reinterpreted as "thou shalt not murder". A more justifiably loose interpretation is made available when you change one little word. While we're on the subject of interpretation, I'd like to address another pet peeve of mine, and that is the creation of the Bible and translation of same said oeuvre. The Bible itself is comprised of many books written in three languages that span millenia. It was painstakingly compiled, which is to say some works were included just as others were excluded. Numerous translations have been offered up, and each of these translations is interpreted every day by clergy and lay persons alike. Millions of people view the Bible as the word of God. The word of God transcribed by man, fallible, mortal man. Personally I don't think this takes away from the overall message of this epic collection of books and letters: God is love, interpret that as you will (ergo Love may well be God). The problem for me however is that in many circles, this kind of talk is seen as sacrilege, in fact I'm sure that more than a few people reading this will find these words difficult to accept at best, and downright heretical at worse. It's just that for me, to believe is to question. Unless you read ancient Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, you've never read the original words, only a translation that you have to take on great faith is a perfect representation of one language in another. As a man who speaks both English and French fluently, I can tell you it is next to impossible not to lose something in the translation. On top of that you have to take it on faith that the mortal man who wrote down the original words was an infallible vessel of the Almighty. The Torah is seen by most in the Talmudic tradition as being allegorical and open to endless interpretation. In fact there is an old joke that says, "Ten Rabbis, eleven opinions." Given that the Torah is bedrock on which the Christian Bible is based, and the book that Jesus would have studied, I would argue that this point is worthy of note. Finally, at the end of the day, most people go to church on Sunday and listen to the Pastor, Minister, or Priest hold forth on the word of God without ever cracking their own book of scripture. Their entire faith is then based on someone else telling them what and how to believe. And then from this place they judge others. They say that man reinvents God in his own image. If so, then I must be a pretty happy guy, because the God I know loves me, loves my gay friends, and has a sense of humor and isn't frightened by the questions I challenge Him with.

On the other side of the smugness scale sit the Atheists. I have many friends who count themselves as Atheists and I love them, and have no interest in trying to make them believe anything else - particularly since my beliefs are uniquely my own, I'd have no place to take them. The favorite argument against religion among Atheists without question is the old "Religion has caused nothing but war and oppression." This to me has always been a stupid statement. Religion is a concept, a belief system, nothing more. It can be used as an instrument to be certain, and how people wield it determines what will be wrought. However as a concept alone it can do nothing. I suppose what I'm saying is religion doesn't kill people, people kill people. Certainly many terrible things have been done in the name of religion, but it was the Machiavellian machinations of the individuals behind it that caused the misery. Blaming religion merely takes the onus off the abusers and puts it on the abstract that is neither evil nor pure. It is also quite chic these days to sluff off religion in favor of the church of science. I am a big believer in science. Science has kept me alive every day of my life for the past twenty years through my medications. Without science I'd be an ethereal spirit typing this from the great beyond, where admittedly I'd likely have more insight, but far less mass and I like my mass. For all of science's pluses however, I remember my fifth grade science teacher telling us that science doesn't actually prove anything, it just disproves everything else until only one apparent possibility remains. Is it possible that in a world where technology advances everyday, where cellphones keep getting smaller and more powerful, where new diseases are constantly being discovered, and where the vast majority of the Earth's oceans are yet to be explored and her lifeforms discovered, that we may not know everything about all things physical and metaphysical? I find it so very annoying to be forever faced with know-it-alls (on both sides of this equation) telling me what there is and isn't in other potential Earthly and unearthly dimensions. The simple fact is this: you know what is in front of your face and in your hands and nothing more, all else is taken on faith whether it involves a belief in something or nothing. To this end I am at a loss to understand people like Richard Dawkins and their quests to destroy people's faith. How can it possibly impact you what others believe or don't believe? I think in their misguided way what they are trying to change are the potential negative tenets and behaviors that can be associated with people of militant faith, and to that end I commend them, but they will never achieve a dialogue with those they want to affect by talking down to them.

Militancy is never a positive thing, and never has a good resolution. It's very difficult for opposing viewpoints to hear each other when no-one wants to listen. In taking these disparate positions, groups alienate people who want a faith tempered by common sense and an acceptance of the modern world in which they live. To me it is very important to allow one's faith to be private and introspective not something that you undermine by politicizing it. It is not only antithetical to legislate belief, and what are now called "faith based initiatives", but I feel it debases religion in general by dragging it into the realm of political jerry-mandering. Religion is meant to stand apart from government and the state precisely because it exists in the realm of the soul and should ideally be untouched by the passages of time and party administrations. As church and State should remain separate to protect the state, so too should individuals of faith remember that they should remain separate to also protect the religion itself.

In summary, I suppose I'm saying is I don't want anyone to ram anything down my throat. I don't talk publicly about what I believe not because I'm embarrassed by it, but because I want to keep it safe in my heart. Nothing you say will change what I hold dear and I have no interest in selling you anything so why pull my faith out in public? It's enough that I'm a good person and do good things. It enough that I love my neighbor and want to protect their right to love whom they want to love. It's enough that I believe that I believe what I do. Don't talk down to me either, no matter what you believe, there's a good chance that I'm just as smart as you! In short, live and let live, and understand that no matter how old you are, you're still too young to know everything!

It's Been a While . . .

Wow, so as the title reads, it's been a while since the last post here, and I fear it's getting to be a bit of a habit. Although in my defense, my wife has recently just given birth to our second daughter, and I am exhausted! Just give me a second to dodge the incoming projectiles from mothers who rightfully didn't find that funny . . . whoa . . . oops . . . ah! Ow! Okay, that one got me!

Yes, on November 11, Becky gave birth via c-section after 27 hours of labor to a beautiful and very healthy girl who weighed in at an impressive 9lb 15oz! I've since been told that I'm going to need to stop describing any woman's weight as "impressive", even if they are only 2 and a half weeks old. Our gorgeous new little one is doing very well, as is her older sister, who is loving the heck out of having a baby sister. We were concerned as to her reception of the newest member of the household given that she doesn't speak yet and we felt limited in our ability to explain the impending situation to her. Of course it turns out, that our nervousness was all for naught and things are hunky do in the land of sibling love. There has however emerged a slight glitch in the program these past four days: glitch thy name be colic!

Colic, for those who don't know, is a fun little trick pulled on parents of newborns that results in said miniature person crying for no good reason for hours on end - usually when they should be sleeping. It's a temporary thing that typically resolves itself within three months for most and by six months for the rest! So no time at all really - just long enough to get you to right before you're about to have yourself committed! The frustrating thing is that no one actually knows why these little ones bawl, not even the little ones. There's nothing much wrong with them; maybe a little gas, maybe they just want to be held, maybe they're mad that they missed the finale of "Dancing With the Stars". Our first wasn't colicky at all. I mean sure, she had her moments of crying, but it wasn't a clockwork like thing. I have had Swiss horlogiers at my house setting their timepieces to my darling daughter's episodes. Ah well, what can you do? I've decided it's a character building thing - time to put a few more hairs on the old chest. Happily they're all sleeping now, giving me a moment or two to write this addled diatribe.

I've thought long and hard about what to write in the last while, and frankly the longer the pause, the more important the blog topic has seemed. After all, the longer my "regular" readers have to wait, the more pertinent and Earth-shaking this next entry should be, right? So much has happened on the world stage since I last wrote on this hallowed site. Barack Obama has been elected President of the United States of America in a ground breaking (and I must say prescient on my part) election result. Proposition 8 passed disappointingly in California to the detriment of many of my friends. My second daughter was born. The markets have crashed and rebounded countless times, leaving us on the brink of another unknown fiscal catastrophy. Yesterday in India, terrorists attacked many areas around Mumbai and killed more than 100 people and injured nearly 300 so far. These are all great fodder for a meaningful and influential blog entry. Do I write about the historic election that has brought America her first African-American President after 200 years? Do I write about how gay rights are important not just to the gay community, but to all of us because they involve basic human rights issues? Do I write about how cute my baby girl is - super cute by the way! Do I write about the importance of working our way out from under the economic pall we find ourselves enveloped by? Or do I write about the terrible scourge of terrorism hitting every culture around the world, and how and why addressing it is priority one?

The answer is YES! Just not right now. On the next few weeks, these are the topics I intend to blog about . . . and I promise they will be funny - sort of. There is a lot to talk about here folks, and to run them all together would do them a disservice. Drop me a line in the comment box if there is anything you want me to address in these upcoming blogs. I love discourse and I promise you I won't ignore dissenting opinions. Opposing view points are what make for strong societies as long as people discuss and debate them rationally and respectfully. As we move into the holiday season it would be great if we as citizens of this great planet could work harder to remember that, and treat not only others as you would like to be treated, but also the ideas of others as you would like yours treated.

Once a Month is Still Regular . . . Right?

So here we are. It's been nearly a month since my last post and I feel just awful knowing that I've let so many regular readers down by not pouring my own special concoction of drivel into their clamoring ears (I didn't think ears could clamor either, but you try telling that to the good folks at www.earsaclamoring.org). In that time we've witnessed the shocking declines of the Dow, the Nasdaq, the TSX, Nikkei, Heng Seng, and countless other made up sounding exchanges. We Canadians went to the polls and elected ourselves basically the same folks who were just there, and then some. Finally, our American cousins are continuing their 342 month trudge toward the 2008 election.

The end is in sight for them now, the last debate was held tonight resulting in the trouncing of the other guy by our guy if you listen to the clinical morons opining before whatever biased networks cameras they pretend not to work for. Given today's CNN webpoll, I'm beginning to suspect that the whole debate process is an excercise in space age futility. Today's webpoll (don't you love how you can make anything "current" and "accessible" by tacking "web" on the front of it?) revealed that debates have the potential to change the minds of a whopping 9% of the respondants! Well heckfire, I say we add five or eleven more mind numbing debates with as many "free thoughts" and "unrehearsed" answers that sound about as natural as twelve year olds reading Roman Catholic catechisms.

I've got to say that is probably the most infuriating part of politics for me these days. I love the game of politics, the sport of it all, but I can't believe that these highly educated men and women don't seem to be able to find a way to meld the all important feedback from the focus groups into who they are and what they're selling as opposed to "becoming" the feedback. These people, and say what you will about them, but I believe they get into a highly public and thankless life out of desire to affect change, have dreams and visions but always allow themselves to be twisted out of their comfort zone and into the realm of the "politico". The only guy I can think of who was adept at appealing to the "common man" while flaunting his personality, and remaining an intellectual who didn't frighten people was Bill Clinton. That guy could work the whole package. As interesting and ground-breaking as Obama is, he still isn't as fluid and comfortable out there as WJC. I would even hazard the somewhat sacreligious opinion that if he weren't breaking ground here, he would be a little less remarkable. He does well with many voters because he is certainly a change from the past, and a clear shift from the status quo embodied by McCain, but he doesn't have Clinton's excitement and joie de vivre. He's not eating Big Macs on the DL from his wife one minute, and playing awkward sax (but somehow working it all the same) the next. Like Obama, Clinton is an intellectual. He was a Rhodes scholar and an Oxford alum. He did have more political experience as two time Governor of Arkansas, but certainly this election isn't going to be about experience. It will be what it's always about - how do the candidates make the electorate feel?

That's what it always comes down to: feeling. When Clinton famously said "it's about the economy stupid" he wasn't just stating the voter's main concern that election year, he was saying that he understood that that's what they were concerned about. It's another Clinton quote that is more often parodied than any other: "I feel your pain". There it is. That was it folks. He got it, and voters saw that he got it. That's the real reason that up here in Canada yesterday Prime Minister Harper didn't pull off the majority government they were aiming for: people didn't feel he understood what concerned them. Oh they trust him to govern and see him as more of a leader than anyone else running, but in this economic crisis he didn't connect with his potential supporters. That's the real reason he didn't make any gains in Quebec; it wasn't the funding cuts, it was what they represented: a lack of understanding of the Quebec perspective.

So much has been made this year in the States of everyone apparently coming from small towns, poor small towns, tiny, dirt-poor miniscule towns. Everyone wants to be an "everyman". Heck, that's how Bush got into power - he's just like you: he puts his pants on one leg at a time, he walks the dog, clears the brush on his Texas ranch, that resonated with voters. Somehow the whole he was born in Connecticut, went to Yale, and grew up the son of a millionaire didn't so much find a voice. The thing is, all these politicians who have never held a blue collar job and have degrees in being politicians want you to believe that they're from small towns just like you because it makes you feel connected, it makes you feel good. That's also why a two party system can be so tricky. Eighty percent of the electorate is already decided, hell people register as one or another. So it's down to the swing voters, you know, the 9% who can be swayed by a debate?

These campaigns are so tightly managed, so focus grouped that these men and women have no chance of being anything close to themselves. Obama actually gets knocked for being too intellectual, too smart. How does that make any sense when you are vying for the most important office on the planet currently? The truth is you don't want an everyman, you want a betterman, screw it, run down to the wedding down the street and grab the best man! You long for these guys to grow a pair of balls and throw off the shackles of opression that are campaign runners and be themselves! McCain used to be a man, he used to be a war hero, a real maverick. Then he knelt down before Falwell and his cronies and became this wraith of a man running for the Republican Party. I must say I have many Republican friends as I have many friends who count themselves Democrats and I love them all - they are all good people believing what they do from good places. What bothers me most about politics as usual in this form is that it lessens the integrity of all involved by distilling everything down to talking points, and always the same ones. Elections in this day and age in this modern a country should not be decided on the backs of ridiculous "wedge" issues like stem-cell research, gay marriage, or Creationism. They should be decided by issues of import like the economy, healthcare (even if not for yourself at least for your children), environmental issues, and positions of Domestic and International policy.

Obama needs to stand up a little taller, and speak from the heart and a little off the cuff. Take a break from the stock answers and gravitas. I know that it's late in the campaign and he's ahead on numbers, but maybe just a little for me. Being real will make people feel good, and whoever he loses by being too real, I'll guarantee he'll pick up others to replace them by making them feel as though a real human being will be out there fighting for them, and not some corporate and lobbiest automaton. Mr. Obama is breaking barriers here, so let's do it with a little style. It's not always enough to just be the first, I think we should all aspire to be the best.