I have a lot of great fans. Fans Tony the Tiger would be proud of.
They visit me on my fan page, they visit my website, they visit this blog, they write their government representatives to tell them how great I am, and some of the more female and attractive fans even send in bikini shots of themselves posing with cakes because they know how much I like cakes.
But then there are the anti-fans. Not Auntie Fan - she's lovely.
No, I'm talking about the haters. You know the ones - the total douche-bags that live on the internet and smack talk everything that comes their way.
I've come across a few of these guys and gals over my years as an F-List celebrity (that's right baby, F-List - I've had it confirmed by NASA. They apparently have a lot of down time these days).
They're generally on YouTube and love to slam me and call me a jerk, and weird looking, and small. Now to be fair, all of these things are true, but they wouldn't know that because they've never met me.
Although I may have met them. I wouldn't know. You know why? Because although literally billions of people hate on me on the interweb, figuratively zero people have ever said anything to my face. You know why?
Simple. Haters are pussies.
These people hate on everything and everyone. From that 14 year old girl Rebecca Black, to that 17 year old girl Justine Bieber, trolls attack anything that reminds them that they're angry at the world because their mom doesn't serve the Tang cold enough to their gaming liar.
So I say screw 'em . . . not literally of course!
I'm pretty sure they all have some kind of immaculately spread venereal disease that makes everything itch and 8-bit characters sexually appealing.